Quick Silver Speed Review: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

Read Hollywood’s Quick Silver Speed Review of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2! 

Obnoxious school guys taking a road trip
Call radio station and won’t hang up
Play chicken with car caught on bridge with truck
Driver gets chainsaw to head part of head plops off…car crashes
Stretch the DJ gets it all on tape
Dennis Hopper shows up to investigate crash
Part of his family killed in first movie
Stretch tries to help Dennis Hopper with tape
Plays tape on the radio
Chop Top Sawyer knows she knows comes to kill her and be straight freaking creepy
Sonny Bono wig
Lights end of hanger…sticks it to scalp…eats pieces?
His giggles are annoying
Metal plate in head
Leather face supposed to kill Stretch…messes with her…messes up some perfectly good Big Red…DAMN YOU LEATHER FACE!!
Uncomfortable scene…leaves without killing her
Dennis Hopper decides he wants her help…uses her as bait
Buys chainsaws…worst tree chopped ever…tree is already hacked up and he still can’t cut it? Get a refund!
Stretch falls down a tunnel…Leather Face and family live there
Dennis Hopper goes to screaming and destroying everything
Stretch is captured forced to wear LG’s face?
LG even though his face is cut off and his ribs exposed still able to help Stretch get loose and run
Stretch recaptured
SCEX spells sex? Yes it does sir…yes it does
Forced into dinner with the family
Mmmm a bowl of green onions
Screaming…screaming…maniacal laughing non freaking stop
Chop Top is beyond annoying
Stretch tries to reason with Leather face?
The cook babbles…what the hell is going on with that one tooth?
Dennis Hopper focuses his attention on the cooks crotch with the chainsaw?
Stretch escapes outside Chop Top follows
It’s like death eating a cracker? Maybe? Not sure what the hell that even means
SCREAMING MORE SCREAMING AHHH!!
Stretch and Chop Top fight again…and again
Stretch chops at Chop Top with chainsaw…he falls
She’s screaming like a crazy woman…THE END!

 

My thoughts: So, this movie overall freaking annoyed me. It tried to not be too serious but tried to capture some of what the first Texas Chainsaw movie offered and it failed…miserably. It starts good and you kind of think…ok let’s do this. But soon it’s just goofy and constant screaming doesn’t make it scary. Bill Mosley who played Chop Top…for the love of all things holy was he god damned annoying. His character, his look, his Sonny Bono wig…the weird scalp eating crap, his voice, his laugh…ok you get it. He was irritating. Leather face was more inept than ever at killing people and the angle of him being enamored with Stretch and doing sexual innuendo with the chainsaw was just stupid. I HATE innuendo! Using a chainsaw to do it doesn’t improve it. STOP. The amount of screaming time from most involved in this movie had to be half the freaking running time. The plot was meh, the characters were meh, the writing sucked and I saw Dennis Hopper thought this was the worst movie he’d been in. Don’t worry Dennis, I agree. In the end I just kind of wanted everyone to shut up or just die so I wouldn’t have to listen to anymore cackling, babbling and screaming.

Rating:

2 really bad Sonny Bono wigs out of 10

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